God, I don’t understand…

God, I don’t understand the way of things, why some things happen the way they do, why there is loss, why there is sorrow. God, I don’t understand why some prayers are answered in such powerful ways and others appear to not be answered at all. God, I don’t understand why we cry and why we laugh and why some homes are forever and some are shattered beyond repair. God, I don’t understand darkness and cruelty and suffering at the hands of one you love. God, I don’t understand hatred and bigotry and racism and violence. God, I don’t understand why some people are completely healed and others are not. God, I don’t understand why some lives are cut short and others are so long. God, I don’t understand how selfishness plays out in the form of abortion countless times every day and it is ignored and considered okay. God, I don’t understand…

…and I am so glad that I don’t have to. I know that You are sovereign and that Your ways are far above mine. I am so glad that You are in control and, though I may feel the pain of my own hurts and the sorrows of those I love, though I may writhe under the cruelty of abuse, injustice, murder, and hate, You see more than my mind could ever comprehend. Because, even though I cannot understand all those things and more, the greatest thing I cannot understand is how You love us. How can You love us so much to redeem us, to give Your only Son to save us, to willingly sacrifice perfection to have me, imperfect, flawed, human, sinful me. That is something I can never understand, the depth of pure love, which You give and which You are.

So, God, I don’t understand, but I am so grateful for You. Without You, all the sorrow, all the pain, would be all that would be known. Lord, I do not understand hope, love, joy, peace, victory, deliverance, sacrifice, redemption, salvation, mercy, grace, compassion, guidance, tenderness, forgiveness, protection, endurance, agape, family, belonging, acceptance, covering, beauty, strength, perfect jealousy, purity, overwhelming and consuming passion…God, I don’t understand the wonder of You…but I know that You are in control and that Your love for me is beyond comprehension. So, God, even though I don’t understand, may I always look to You. In the moments of sorrow, may You always be my comfort. In the moments of doubt, may You always be my strength. In the moments of joy, may You always be my source. In the moments of peace, may You always be by my side. Because, beloved God, I don’t need to understand to know that You feel greater pain than I do and that Your love is there, even in the worst times of my life.

Even when I don’t understand…

Dedicated to my friend, Joyce Purley, for the loss of her beloved Minnie…my heart breaks for her.