Being “Good”
I was talking with someone yesterday and I said, “It’s not that hard to do good.” This was in response to thinking about how randomly bad people are. I can’t capture the true essence of this conversation seeing as it would be a violation of confidentiality, but, suffice it to say, I wholeheartedly believed that it isn’t hard for folks to do good as opposed to all the badness running rampant in this world.
I was thinking about it this morning and I realized that what I said was only half true. It isn’t that hard to do good if you’re living for Jesus and you actually know Him and desire to be His completely. I was thinking that the only reason I stopped drinking alcohol was because I knew that God didn’t want me drinking alcohol. I stopped watching television because God wanted me all to Himself and didn’t want me distracted and I wanted the same things. I stopped smoking because God didn’t want me ingesting tar and foulness into my lungs and I wanted the same thing, wanted to breathe deeply without coughing. I stopped watching pornography because God wanted me to be pure and I wanted to be free of the bondage’s of lust. All of the bad things that I did in my life, my fits of rage, my laziness, my abusive tendencies, all became easier to walk away from because I wanted God more than I wanted to be the way I was, the way I’d always been.
So, the basic premise of being good is based on who you are. Now, there are people out there that have no concept of Jesus and are givers and generous and kind and good but there is always something that is there unbidden. Jealousy or bitterness or pride, it all lodges itself within ones heart without being realized. Then, because we’re all human, it is excused as normal when in truth, from the heart of man flows all forms of wickedness: “evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, eagerness for lustful pleasure, envy, slander, pride and foolishness. All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you and make you unacceptable to God.” (Mark 7:21b-23 NLT)
Therefore, though one could outwardly be good, inside there is badness. So what does this mean? Am I here to make everyone feel less of themselves? Not in the least! I am here to see if I can understand the reasons why being good is so very difficult. The excuses are offered up like pagan sacrifices. “I’ve always been this way.” “At least I don’t do what that other person does.” “I like to drink socially but I don’t get drunk.” “I married in the eyes of God and common law.”
Something revealed to me long ago was that if I had to excuse my behavior, then it was a behavior I had to stop. I don’t have to excuse being a virgin. I don’t have to excuse waiting to have sex until marriage. I don’t have to excuse not dating. I don’t have to excuse not drinking or smoking or watching television. Most times if I say, I don’t drink, no one asks me why. If I say I’m a virgin, no one demands that I defend myself for being one. If I say that I don’t watch television and someone asks why and I say that I don’t want to be distracted they take it at that.
This was something that changed the way I viewed my behaviors and habits, changed the way I looked at myself. I used to say, I haven’t been convicted of that yet, as an excuse to continue doing what I wanted to do, like going dancing, and one day God revealed to me that it was a lie to say that. The fact that I’d offer up such a lame excuse to justify why I do what I do was proof enough that I had no legitimate reason to do what I was doing. Sure enough, after I repented of this fallacy and moved on, it was thrown back in my face by those I spoke it to. I then had to tell them, I’m sorry I ever said that and I’m sorry that I ever gave that as a reason because it’s a lie. It was very humbling.
Now, I’m not by any stretch of the imagination saying that I’m 100% good. I still struggle with pride, jealousy and anger. However, I am striving to be set free from these worldly chains and bondage’s. I am leaning more on God than ever before.
I recall that last year as God asked me to lay down many things for Him, television and movies for good, Bon Jovi and reading books for a short time, it was quite a struggle. However, I felt so much more content, happier and satisfied when I had laid aside all my distractions for His love. I gave Him Jon Bon Jovi’s place in my heart and the music that use to control me and dominate my life has no bearing upon me any longer. In fact, I don’t care for Bon Jovi’s new CD at all, which is surprising. And out of this came the gift from Joe and Jenn for me to go to a Bon Jovi concert in April in Dallas with a friend, something I thought would never happen since I was so obsessed.
Unfortunately, I allowed television, movies and books back into my life and laying them aside the second time was much, much harder and took much, much longer. However, I am glad to say that I have set aside television and movies for good and laid the books to gather dust until God feels that I can keep Him first even when distracted by Weis/Hickman novels (my favorites!).
So, being good is about denying yourself things of waste and distraction in order to live a life full of joy, worth and excitement. There is never a day with my Beloved that is boring. He is so infinite in His ability to touch and to change that every day brings something new to my shores and I am ever glad to be good.
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